Wisdom of Paramhansa Yogananda: The Folly of Selfishness

This subject is the title of Chapter 2 of the book Spiritual Relationships, by Paramhansa Yogananda. You can look forward to a class on this subject on Thursdays in May at Ananda in Seattle. He begins this chapter with the counsel that as we talk about the faults of others, so too will our faults, in time, be publicized! Gossip only angers, shames, or hurts another person. It can never heal him. If you find you are prone to talk about the faults of others, begin to re-direct this tendency by talking about your own faults! You will quickly see how you feel about such exposure.

Only a kind, wise, and perfectly poised person is in a position to tell others their faults. The purpose of judgment must be curative only, not the merciless outlet of anger. Indeed, unkind words are ruthless murderers of life-long friendships, and the harmony of homes. Make yourself attractive with the fine garments of courtesy and begin showing your new apparel to your immediate family and friends.

We can’t or don’t always agree with others but in so doing we can remain calm and respectful. It is human weakness to get angry but it shows divine strength to hold the reins of the wild stallion of your temper and speech!

Many people suffer from being overly sensitive, touchy, or self-pitying. This malady comes from lack of self-control over the nervous system. For some people a mere thought or an imagined, as yet unreal comment or conversation, can throw body and mind into cartwheels of emotional upset and lack of concentration. Self-pity is an addiction like opium. Steel your will against it at all costs and learn to control your moods instantly! It’s important to take responsibility for your reactions and not blame others.

Let’s look at a few specific negative tendencies:

Destructive criticism. You can distinguish constructive from destructive criticism of others by clearly picturing the faults of another person and seeing if you can view them sympathetically, as if those faults were your own. If you must proffer critique consider these suggestions: use a look, rather than words; use as few words as possible; don’t repeat your criticism more than twice! As we forgive ourselves readily, so should we forgive others.

Jealousy. If jealousy prods you to improve yourself (your appearance, your health, your success, your  beautiful soul qualities), then it could be called constructive. Destructive jealousy is mean and undermines the best interests of both its adherent and its object.

Flattery. It is always good to speak the truth, but it is better to avoid unpleasant but true speech. Flattery may be good if it encourages a person to right action but it is pernicious when it serves to hide a spiritual wound which will then fester and poison the soul with ignorance. Be wary of flattery and receive intelligent criticism with an open mind and a calm heart.

Blessings to all,

Hriman and Padma